Hello, Parents of Paseo Hills,

    The theme this quarter has been, "Am I focusing on solutions instead of problems?"

    The motto for this week:
    I seek solutions!

    Being solution-focused, rather than problem-focused is not as easy as it may seem because it's easy to think that problem-sharing is problem-solving.

    I use the terms Problem-sharing and Problem-solving with students because it helps clarify the difference between talking about the problem vs. solving the problem. Here are some talking points you can use with your kids:

    When we problem-share:
    1. We look for blame.
    2. We complain about the problem.
    3. The discussion focuses on what already happened.
    4. We feel stuck and expect adverse outcomes.
    "Identify your problems
    but give your power and energy to solutions."

    -Tony Robbins
    When we problem-solve:
    1. We look for solutions.
    2. We talk about how to make things better.
    3. The discussion focuses on what's next.
    4. We feel motivated and expect favorable outcomes.
    Wanting to share our problems and frustrations with family and friends is normal and healthy, as long as we also spend time on improving our situation, rather than just complaining about it.

    When I hear my kids complaining, I listen with understanding, and after they felt heard I ask, "What are you going to do now?" This simple question moves them from problem-sharing to problem-solving.

    Below are some activities and resources you can use at home with your kids, if you choose, to support this week's motto: Have a wonderful week and be well,

    Danna Evans
    All Things E.Q. - The Discovery of You!

    Hello Paseo Hills Parents,

    You may enjoy this quote:
    "Respect your parents; they passed school without Google."

    Our motto for this week:

    I can see things from many different points of view.

    When a student understands that their perspective can change the way they experience life, they have been given a powerful gift. It took my son way too long, but he finally decided that homework doesn't have to be a punishment. What a difference this shift in perspective made for him.

    There is always another way to look at every situation. For example, how students "see" homework will vary:
    • Homework is horrible.
    • Homework is a "have to."
    • Homework is helpful.

    We are always choosing a perspective; however, we are not always conscious of the choices we make. Students often just "do" their homework and rarely (if ever) take the time to determine how they "see" homework and the bigger implications that may have in their life. After all, if they get into the habit of "seeing" homework as punishment, they are setting themselves up for years of future punishment.

    "If you don't like something change it;
    if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."
    -Mary Engelbreit

    When we believe homework is helpful, our experience of homework is far more rewarding than when we believe homework is a waste of our time.
    But how do we help our students perceive homework as helpful?

    Share with your kids that you understand that they may not believe homework is helpful because they may feel like they will not need this information in their future. However, the skills they practice during their homework, such as perseverance, follow-through, and grit, will absolutely help them in the future. Skills cannot simply be summed up when needed; they must be strengthened and developed over time.

    A sixth-grade student cracked me up when he shared:
    "I used to think All Things E.Q was just trying to make me like the things I hate, but then I realized I like hating things less."

    I told him it worked for me too because I enjoy my mornings now, and I used to hate them! Changing our perspective is not easy, and it does not happen all at once, but it is possible, and that's good news.
    Our perspective is a powerful force that we control.
    The trick is to remember that we have that control.

    Here are resources you can use at home that support this week's motto:
    Have a good week and be well,

    Danna Evans
    All Things E.Q. - The Discovery of You!
    Hello Paseo Hills Parents,
    Our motto this week is:

    "I don't complain about what I can't change."
    Feelings of disappointment and frustration are real and valid and deserve to be expressed. We just don't want our kids stuck in those feelings for too long, and complaining doesn't help them move on to solutions.

    Problems, after all, are a part of life. There will always be conditions that are out of our control. Focusing on conditions we cannot change, however, will not make anything better. Instead, guide your kids to focus on how they can improve their experience of those conditions. Teach them to use their emotions to help them recognize when they are in a complaint or improvement mindset.

    A Complaint Mindset Feels Like:
    1. Trapped
    2. Seeks Blame
    3. Expects Adverse Outcomes
    An Improvement Mindset Feels Like:
    1. Capable
    2. Seeks Solutions
    3. Expects Better Outcomes
    When your child is stuck complaining about something that can't be changed. Honor their feelings by acknowledging what happened, and then help them put their focus and energy into what's next by making the most of their circumstances now.
    "Complaining is draining. Complaining only takes away energy from today and never solves the problems for tomorrow."
    -James Altucher
    Here are this week's resources that support the motto:
    Here's some humor for this week:
    "Quarantine Diary -
    Fiercely fought with the husband over the day of the week.
    We were both wrong."
    Be well,

    Danna Evans
    All Things E.Q
    Hello Parents,

    Our motto this week is:
    "Tough times happen, but I'm tougher."

    I recommend watching the video What to do when you are having a bad day! with your kids. The video is the first link below and it provides some tools that can help our children become more resilient to those inevitable bad days. The rest of the links are more videos and resources you can use to support this week's motto if you choose.
    Some humor for the week:
    "The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention
    is to sit down and look comfortable."
    -Lane Olinghouse

    Enjoy your week and be well,

    Danna Evans
    All Things E.Q
    All Things E.Q. - Parenting Tip: The Do-Over!
    Hello Parents,

    Welcome to week three of our Home Support Edition.

    I recently saw a tweet that was written by a parent in 2014, but it could be from 2020. She wrote:
    "I just completed six different activities with my 5yo,
    but that's only taken up 30 minutes of the day."

    It can certainly feel that way on some days, and then other days, the exact opposite is true. You feel like you worked with them all day but only completed one lesson. I hope some of our resources below can help you enjoy some downtime together, and remember, these resources are here for you to use if you choose. No judgment - no "have to" - just support.

    Our motto this week is:

    I am willing to make things better.
    I really like the "Do-Over" tool that supports this week's motto. You can watch the explanation in the video above or read about it in the Key Insights below. The bullet points below provide different options you can use to discuss the motto at home.
    Wishing you and your family well,

    Danna Evans
    All Things E.Q


    All Things E.Q. - Week 2: I look for solutions, not blame.
    Hello, Paseo Hill's Parents,

    Wishing you health and patience as you continue to hold down the home front!

    Our motto this week is:
    I look for solutions, not blame.

    The bullet points below are the different weekly resources you can use to discuss the motto at home with your kids. If you missed the introduction video from last week, it's available here in Link #1. The second link, we call it Link #2 (we're pretty creative around here) are videos you can show your kids that discuss this week's motto. Link #3 has instructions for the family meeting I discussed in the video above, and if the video above isn't playing (there have been bandwidth issues), you have the instructions in link #3.

    Link #1: If you missed last week, here is the introduction video!
    Link #2: Videos for Your Students About This Week's Motto: I look for solutions, not blame.
    Link #3: Family Meeting Instructions

    Here are the weekly resources:
    Finally, please don't feel overwhelmed by these options. These are simply here for support and not to add another "have to" to your already very full plate. Hopefully, you can enjoy the activities and conversations they create at home.

    Wishing you and your family well,

    Danna Evans
    All Things E.Q.
  • April 2, 2020

    Hello Parents,

    I hope you and your family are well. As Paseo Hills Teachers work hard to help your children continue their academic learning at home, we also wanted to provide you with additional resources to support their emotional development as well.

    During this time of enormous change, and social-distancing, it can be helpful to feel connected to the broader school community. So, each week we will focus on a weekly motto altogether.

    The motto this week is:
    I adapt and make the most of change.

    Each week, I will provide a brief video highlighting the key insights for the week. I will also include, via the links below resources and activities that you may find helpful to do with your child.

    Here are the resources I mentioned in the video above: Despite the challenges we face, people continue to rise above. Thanks to all the teachers who are working diligently to create learning opportunities for our students at home. Thanks to all the parents for your understanding and support. Challenges often reveal the best in us.
    “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.
    Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
    -Margaret Mead

    Be well,

    Danna Evans
    All Things E.Q